Adjusting to Leaving Home or Going to University

Moving away from home and starting University can be a daunting time. While it heralds a new exciting stage in our children’s lives, I also see that what we hope and expect them to be able to manage in this significant life transition can be daunting for our children.

Let’s take a moment to think about the journey from home to university.

Firstly, while some young people seem prepared and ready for this huge transition, others take some time to fully adjust to this new way of living. Homesickness is natural and painful, it takes us time to recover from the loss we can feel when we leave home for the first time.

If you have ever been bereaved, think about how long it took you to be truly comfortable and fully adjusted to the loss you experienced. In the same way, some young people take time to work through the process of leaving home.

Secondly, it’s not always easy to live with strangers. Learning to adjust and adapt to other people is a skill that requires our full attention, particularly because within this adjusting and adapting we have to find a viable way for us to be comfortable, relaxed and safe. 

Feeling comfortable, relaxed and safe is the best way for us to be able to learn and apply ourselves to our education. We all have different ways of helping ourselves to feel comfortable but, when we are young, it can be hard to privilege ourselves over others because we can feel afraid people will not like us if we are too “assertive“. Being confidently assertive is key to developing independently.

Lastly, finding ourselves in a new learning environment with new expectations placed on us, with little or no relationship with our new educators, requires us to rethink how we engage with our studies. Up until this point most of us will have benefited from kindly teachers who helped, guided and supported us on our learning journey. University significantly moves us away from this model and students quickly discover the meaning of independent learning, this process can take time and can be stressful.

I have supported many University students as they adjust to their new lives away from home. 

If you are worried or concerned about how your child is adapting to university life then why not get in touch with me.

We can take some time to talk about what is troubling you and perhaps we can formulate a plan that will help your child get the most from their life at university.